Good battles today in Soho. I was thinking back to when I first started frame battling and how much less comfortable I was than now. It’s truly a skill that gets better over time once you set an intention and go after it. Sure, I wish there were more girls around these parts that were actually battle-able instead of just being nice, but I’ve seen how even the little volume I’ve gotten has made me better.
Still, though, I see the parts I still have to improve. Lately, I’ve been telling girls “You can just say no if you’re not interested,” which is a fine way to force an ultimatum, but I’ve been doing it too soon. I need to stay and lean into the battle.
I had one notable set with a hot half-Guyanese, half-Arab YND. The tension was high and it was a battle throughout, with me accusing her of not being used to alpha dudes and locking down white finance guys. This was one where I needed to pull in the moment, but I couldn’t because she was meeting her friend for coffee.
When I listened back to the set, it didn’t sound as good as it did in my head. John Adams commented that I was “fumbling” a bit. Just indicative of my current level in a high pressure set like this. He said I actually needed to be meaner and keep the pressure up on her the whole time, keeping the energy up even if we don’t know a lot about each other because, per Dante, you can always build comfort later, but you have to build as much attraction as possible in the beginning to get her buying temperature high, until you finally just grabb her hand and steal her away from her plans and lead her.
Just the fact that something like that is possible excites me. It’s almost cinematic. I remember John Adams explaining that the utopic ideal is that you and the girl are battling the whole time back to your place and when you get there, the tension is so palpable that she just jumps on you to resolve it. Even if I only achieve a realistic version of that, I could retire happy.
The weather is finally here. This is the time I ascend to Intermediate. I’ve been dancing around it, but now I have the chance to actually prove myself and earn my belt.
Date with 24yo half-Eastern European, half-South Asian
This girl manages a ton of people at one of the largest apparel stores in NYC. She went to fashion school and is very driven.
Before the date, based on her cultural background and some IG stalking I had a feeling she would be very comfort and I was right. She rolled out from Queens and our plan was to meet at Astor and get boba. We grabbed some boba and headed to the park to sit. I noted that she was pretty quiet and closed off, maybe even more so than when we met.
I made some attempts at conversation but wasn’t getting much, I had to drive everything. I called her out for having her arms crossed and she claimed it was just a “comfortable position”.
A bit later I called out her being reserved and she said that she was cautious because of bad experiences in the past. I gathered that guys had led her on and she was more of a relationships person. I told her that guys who did that were weak because they didn’t have any other options.
I asked why she came out with me and she said because I was “ominous” about my job and she was curious about the way I approached her. This girl doesn’t use apps and doesn’t have any real way to meet guys.
I let her down easy and said I didn’t want to be her experiment and that I wasn’t really a relationships person, and after a bit of talking I suggested we part ways. For her it was abrupt and she pretty much wanted to stay and keep chatting but I explained we were being honest with each other and saving each other time.
Sucks for her because she spent so much time getting here from Queens, but on the other hand if you are truly open to connection with someone they shouldn’t have to use a crowbar to pry you open while you sit there with your arms crossed.
This would have been a 3-date kind of girl and she wasn’t attractive enough for me to put in that kind of time when the majority of my girls are banging on the first date. Also feel like there’s not much I could have learned in terms of Game.
Ended it after 50 minutes and went back out to approach.
Pancake Mouse Field Reports 