Saturday, April 13, 2024 – New York City

Did a quick one hour of coaching. Dante and I have been trying for over a week to get a day where I could battle Maybe girls, and we finally found it this Soho Saturday.

Set 1 – Dominican maybe girl

She was walking and was responding a little guardedly and not really turning to face me. I tried everything: stimming, callouts, comfort, humor, vibe. Nothing really worked. Finally at the end of the block I tried to get her to stop and she did for a second and made an excuse about meeting a friend. I said I was meeting a friend too, but she walked away.

Dante’s feedback: she didn’t really acknowledge my presence and kept walking forward. That’s an immediate sign that she doesn’t respect me as a man. When you walk with her on the side, that’s weak. Instead, give an ultimatum early: “I’m not going to keep doing this, OK? Can you stop for two second and acknowledge me as a man who’s trying to get to know you?” And then square up to her.

He thinks I was trying to compromise. Compromising doesn’t work with girls, you have to be entitled as a man. “You think an aggressive female wants to meet in the middle? She wants a man who puts her in her place.”

I contest Dante on this. This is contrary to what I had been doing in the past: walking with a girl and slowly wearing her down until I could finally get her to stop. I explain that I think making her stop early with a masculine callout is too much of a compliance test.

“That’s how Maybe girls are, that’s how No girls are. Try it out. If you get no compliance, alpha callout and see if it works. If you don’t do it early you let her overtake your masculine frame.”

Dante essentially wants me to force a battle early and see what happens. “Wait, wait, wait hold up. We don’t have to do this, I’m only trying to get to know you.” Girls don’t care about the side to side, they want the domination. Dante thinks almost all times when he tries to talk to a girl from side to side they ignore him, but when he calls them out and stops them they respond.

Set 2 – Fake nice white girl

This girl was so obviously noncompliant but wouldn’t stop being nice. I kept calling it out, but she was unaffected.

Dante’s feedback: When you keep calling something out and it doesn’t work, that’s weak. He noticd I started to get butthurt at the end. She kept laughing and giving me bullshit excuses but it was frustrating because on the surface they were nice.

Instead, give her an ultimatum: “Listen, you gotta do you, I gotta do me, so let’s keep it real: I feel like we got a little thing going on and I want to get to know you.” Put the pressure on and see where she goes from there. Imagine she says she’d be down. “Are you going to be down? Or are you just playing games? I don’t need you to be fake.” Pressure, compliance, comfort. Not just butthurt “you’re this, you’re that.”

I realize I should have worked within the frame and used humor to better it. Dante agrees “You did aggressive callouts showing that you were hurt.” Instead: “What’s in your package, a dildo? Because I’ve actually been looking for one.”

Give an ultimatum and work backwards from there. Embrace the battle, don’t get frustrated. And use humor.

Set 3 – Plastic TMD

I wasn’t into this but I did it situationally because she was trying to go into a locked store. She was just unreceptive and trying to use me for directions.

Dante’s feedback: When I followed her as she was walking away, I was behind her and my body language looked weak.

When Maybe girls don’t acknowledge me, I get into my head and start spinning my wheels. With Maybe girls, do not haggle, do not bargain, do not expect to chip away at them.

Instead: “I’m going to stay something before you go, I want you to acknowledge me as a man because I came up and talked to you. How often does this happen when you can actually connect with someone like this.” Put the pressure on them. The tone is like “don’t disrespect me.” There’s a sexual tension there.

Set 4 – Black girl crossing the street

She crossed almost immediately and I crossed with her and just did some jokey callouts.

Dante’s feedback: I should have done the ultimatum before she crossed the street. I felt that this was too early, but Dante says this would set the tone. “Wait, before you cross the street, I have something to say to you.” Open loop. Make her square up with you.

I’m confused because Lean walks across the street with the girl and then he battles her along the way. But Dante explains that Lean is Advanced and he can stop the girl at any point. But I’m not there yet. I need to set the tone from the beginning. He’s noticed that the more I walk with a girl, the more frame I lose. My body language and tonality becomes weak. I let the Maybe lead. I’m behind her, begging for compliance.

I need to turn around wand walk in front of her, facing her, in a dominant way.

Set 5 – Wishy washy Mexican

I could tell she was grad school cuck. She claims she was “not looking for something”. I ended up disqualifying her out of the set. To me it was an unwinnable set, playing handball against the drapes.

Dante’s feedback: You only did one thing I didn’t like: you didn’t show a willingness to walk away. When you battle for too long, it just becomes brother and sister fighting. You need to destroy them at a high note. This was my issue with Drama Game as well: it would just go on forever but it wasn’t that impactful.

I’m lacking that “oomph” statement and energy in Maybe girl sets, where she truly feels my intention and has to make the decision of either Yes or No.

Overall Dante Feedback:

• Ultimatums at a high note 1 to 2 minutes in. Or maybe even earlier. I have to find the right moment.
• Do it earlier than expected to find the right moment and try it out. Experiment.
• Just because you’re battling doesn’t mean it’s going to go anywhere. Maybe girls will stay in the battle just because it provides emotional spikes and validation.
• Contrary to what you might believe, your frame actually gets worse the more you battle, because it shows you’re not willing to walk away.
• If you can’t humble a Maybe girl, she will humble you
• I need to turn around and walk in front of her and face her while she’s walking instead of following