Monday, April 8, 2024 – New York City

Instadate pull with incredibly tainted 34yo New York Latina

Herald Square has been randomly good to me lately. I spotted this Latina swaying her hips in the most “bad bitch walk” imaginable. She was dressed up like Trinity in the Matrix with a tight top, loose joggers and high-top Nike Dunks.

Immediately as she opened she gave me attitude. I clapped back with no hesitation. As I observed her more closely, I realized how super, super hot she was. The attitude wasn’t about merit. This battle continued for a minute as we walked down the sidewalk. Finally I was able to stop her before she went into a smoke shop to buy a vape. I’d say this was the best I have ever done at battling such a difficult tainted set. She tried to order me into the smoke shop with her. I said “Don’t bark at me like one of your lap dogs!” and kept her outside talking to me for five minutes. Finally the store clerk invited us in, she got her vape, and we sat down on some benches outside.

By now, she had let her guard down a bit. We exchanged ages, and to my surprise, she was 34. She was actually worried I might be younger than her but was relieved to find out my real age. We both commented that we look younger than we actually are. She began to trauma dump on me. The cliff notes of what I found out during our instadate:

• just had a falling out with her best female friend
• none of her siblings talk to her
• her other best friend just died
• very alpha latino dad whom she is extremely close with
• overprotective mother whom she hated, who died 5 years ago
• parents never married, met while her dad was doing community service in lieu of jail
• started wilin’ out at a young age, getting tattoos at 16, partying. was self-described “out of control” up until a couple years ago
• was a cocktail waitress at the top club in NYC from 2014-2017
• hasn’t had a relationship in four years and has damage from a narcissistic ex or two
• moved across state lines recently because she had a stalker
• has been depressed and rarely leaves her apartment but had a moment of clarity following a migraine this week and feels serene

The flags were beyond red, they were crimson, practically soaked with blood. I no longer cared about the set, I was just along for the ride.

She had ADHD and the entire focus of the conversation was on herself, with a pause every so often to ask me about myself. When I answered, she would usually interrupt me immediately and redirect the conversation back to her. I have several ADHD friends and am familiar with this behavior, so I was amused rather than bothered.

She wanted me to accompany her around the block to get boba, so we did that, then she needed to wait for her weed plug, who was late. We sat on a rock and continued talking, then the plug finally showed up. It was about 90 minutes in now, and her bitch shield lowered with every increasing minute. I asked if she wanted to go to LES and she accepted. After some logistical questions about where my place was, we hopped on the subway.

Back at my place, I was still completely chill, just enjoying the adventure. I had realized by this point that this girl was kind of a bullshitter. Some claims she made:

• started writing music at age 12, met a mentor who got her into the business
• has written “hip hop songs I would have heard” and is signed with Sony
• wrote a song with 88 million views on YouTube (I checked later she is not listed as a writer)
• played me another song she claims she wrote with 200K views (she is also not listed as a writer)
• she is starting a software company (really she is selling whitelabeled software services to businesses)
• she came out with her own weed vape and she will give me one next time
• she is starting a skincare line
• she is starting a social media consultancy
• she once sued her boss at a bar for making a rude comment to her and got a $15K settlement

I was able to corroborate about half of these, but they were definitely inflated. Reminds me of typical nightlife people blowing hot air.

She was hungry and wanted to order us pizza but I cooked us pasta instead. I was really hungry anyway. She showed me all her tattoos including her pulling down her pants to show me one right above her mons pubis. After we ate, we relaxed on the couch and I slowly escalated until finally she was sitting on my lap. There was talk of a massage; I flipped her over and started giving her one. I dug into her ass and between her thighs (she remarked “easy now” as I got closer to her nethers). I worked back up and started kissing her shoulderblades, then the sides of her neck. She got turned on, flipped over and started making out with me. There were a couple stops but at some point she led me into the bedroom. “We’re just lying down on the bed,” she said. Sure. I actually pulled back a little bit but soon it was back to business.

My strategy at this point was “turn her on enough”. I generally feel that if a girl is crazy, you can overcome LMR best using this method. Once she felt how hard my cock was, she did get really turned on and then shed her pants because they were “uncomfortable”. At this point it was just her very skimpy lingerie grinding against my cock. She had stopped me multiple times before this to “take it slow”, but then also admitted “I’m so wet though.” I did one round of callouts where I asked what the deal was and she gave the typical excuses of “better to wait” which I did my best to quash with logic, telling her “I feel like you’re just putting up blockers to something you actually want.” She tried to even claim “guys respect you more if you wait” which I told her was bullshit and that it was actually the opposite for me.

After that, I tried something different, saying “I just want to make you come” but she stopped and wouldn’t let me. After a short pause though, she grabbed my cock of her own volition, giving me license to slip my fingers inside, which made her lose it. I proceeded to use the scoop technique to make her come once, then got all of her clothes off (holy shit her body was incredible, I don’t think I have ever been with a 34 year old with a body like this) and ate her out and made her come again.

“I hate you,” she gasped.
“I know,” I replied.
“I’m stunned.” She said.
“By what?”
— “You.”
“You want this cock in your mouth?”
She shook her head.
“Wow, you don’t suck dick?”
— “I do, but I have to really like the person.”
“Princess over here.”
— “It’s more intimate than fucking, by the way.”
I accepted it and grabbed a condom from my bedside drawer.
“You want this inside you?”
— “I do.” pause. “But not tonight.”

I have never, ever, ever experienced this. Once you give this much to a woman, she will always return the favor and let you fuck her. I’ve had the odd woman, maybe one or two, still give LMR up until penis in vagina, but I’ve still been able to overcome it. Not this time. Tried another round of light drama but she wasn’t giving in.

I’ve only heard stories of this happening, and finally it happened to me.

I wasn’t even mad. I was actually kind of amazed. Crazy TMDs and their crazy LMR.

We got dressed and she grabbed an Uber home. It was clear she was into me at this point. She really wanted me to take her number, and referenced us meeting up again a couple times. And before she went into her Uber she said “text me!” and texted me immediately upon getting in.

I highly doubt I will continue to entertain this. The flags are too red, and she soured me by giving LMR at such a late stage. A selfish, disgusting act (Joe Buck voice).

I’m angry because this would have been one of my best Maybe girl closes of all time had this closed. But the path between “almost a lay” and “lay” is further than one would think. Back to the drawing board.